Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
