I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
