ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
