I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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