I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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