THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
