did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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