So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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