i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
