Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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