Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
