I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
