She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
