she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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