How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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