i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
