I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
