with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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