the day after is always just damage control
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize