Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
