Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
