I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
