the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
