hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
