dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
