I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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