the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
