Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
