i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
