this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
