dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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