Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
