I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The power of my boobs compel you
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
