so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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