just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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