when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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