I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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