she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
