her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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