so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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