Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize