I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
it was like eating out sand paper
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
