when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
