dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
