batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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