Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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