I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
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So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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