cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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