His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Success! We fucked roommates!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
