ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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