i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
