I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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