apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize