he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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