come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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