Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
