So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
