saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
