He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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